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I jolted up in bed, tears burning their way down my cheeks, sweat beading on my forehead. I swallowed through my dry throat as I tried to calm my breathing. I stared at my desk across me. Again? This dream… this night…. what is with all of this? And why does it feel so real? The dream feels alien, yet at the same time, it feels so close to me. I don’t know the people, I don’t know the place, I don’t even know myself in that foreign yet familiar scene. It’s as if it already happened, like I already experienced it, when really none of it is true. Every time I wake up from this dream, I feel like I’ve died and come back to life. Except, when I wake up, I still feel like I’m dying. Strange, right? How can one feel like they’re actually dying when their alive and breathing at the same time?
I hastily wiped my tears, hating what had become of me from that dream. I glanced at my clock; 7:15. I groaned and collapsed back onto bed. “urRG SERIOUSLY?” I grumbled, kicking around in my sheets. I could have slept 15 more minutes before my alarm for school went off! Annoyed, I ruffled my bangs and blew hot hair towards the ceiling. Slowly, I pushed myself off my bed and set up on the edge. No use of trying to go back to sleep now. I slid my slippers on and shuffled out of my room towards the bathroom, my shoulders slumped.
Once in the washroom, I splashed my face with cold water, making my eyes shoot open. I grabbed my toothbrush and after applying paste, I shoved it into my mouth. As I brushed, my mind wandered angrily. Really, is there something wrong with me? Do I need to go check myself or something? This is already the 9th time I’m having this dream! I should be used to it by now, but every single damned time I wake up crying! I’ve never seen that person in my life! So why the hell does it hurt so much?
The toothbrush dropped from my mouth and into the sink basin as I flinched, cutting my lip from how fiercely I was brushing. I looked at myself in the mirror, gingerly touching the bleeding cut and flinching. I let out another annoyed sigh. Mom is going to make me put a Band-Aid on this and send me to school like that. Honestly, Jisung ain’t going to let this one go easily. I could already hear his laughing voice echoing in my mind.
“Hahaha! Seriously, how do you cut your lip while brushing? Are you fighting with the toothbrush or something?”
I glared at myself through the foggy mirror from my sister having taken a shower before.
Get yourself together Changbin. Or else, that dream, and that girl, are going to be the end of you.